The third installment to the chapters of my love life

The 3rd part to Maybe she is just that into you

and Maybe she is just that into you continued

I saw W for a third time. This time in daylight, sober. Yes...it really was as scary as it sounds.

I tend to meet people in town at night, thats where I make all my new friends, I cant help but be more confident, not because I'm drunk (which I usually am anyway) but because I have the alcohol to fall back on as a safety net. Nervousness tends to happen when we are scared of doing something wrong/inappropriate/socially unacceptable or just generally embarressing. But nights out on the town form a zone where those moments are what are treasured and laughed at rather than frowned upon.

I desperately wanted it to go well. I don't have much confidence in myself. I think he's a very interesting and amazing person I just hope that he sees as many possitive qualities in me as I do in him. I kept repeating to myself that all I can do is be who I am and hope that he likes that person. If he doesnt then theres nothing I can do. If its right its right.

We sat and talked and talked and walked around the mall for a bit. It was hard to tell if the conversation was full of nervousness or if it really just wasnt flowing. There were plenty moments of chuckling at jokes but there was just something underneath it all I couldnt quite put my finger on. Was it the jitters of the first sober meeting? Was he bored? Was I talking too much...too little...am I boring him.

We caught the train and went to his house, sat around listening to music and playing cards. The whole time we were playing cards I wanted to kiss him. But there were no signs of encouragment or welcoming of such an action so I didnt. Infact there had been barely any touching at all...maybe that was what I couldnt quite put my finger on? (pun completely intended).

We ended up laying on his bed talking, had been for about an hour with absolutely no touching. When your laying next to someone in their bed...despite the encouragement of the situation unfolding itself in such a way that you are laying next to each other, if there is still no touching, it is quite QUITE discouraging. I was loosing all faith. Wow that went downhill fast! Then as I was talking he rolled to face me and put his hand on my hip that was sticking out as I was laying on my side. OMG THANK YOU. Something that usually wouldnt phase me what so ever made me completely loose wat I was saying and I quickly fumbled on my words to try and not acknowledge the quick change in his actions. He removed his hand after a few minutes and then returned it time and time again as the conversation went on. I put my hand mirroring where his was but on his body and tickled him as we had previously discussed how extremely ticklish he is (how ADORABLE) which then led to him tickling me and half wrestling on the bed and then of course kissing. Yep it was great, just like in one of those movies, laughing and wrestling and tickling and then suddlenly looking at each other and going in for a kiss.

I didnt let it escalate to anything more as I still wasnt sure if he was actually interested in me or just some action. It's so hard ot know, guys go to extreme lengths and do all the things that would signal a deep connection just for it to mean absolutely nothing in the end. I certainly didnt want to confuse that situation further by sending off the wrong signals.

Is he into me? I have no idea. Just as I was loosing faith (despite the hours of making out- I still doubted whether we would even hang out again) I texted him saying I had fun etc, and to my surprise he replied saying he had fun and next up ice skating!...a second date?

So I suppose this is once again...to be continued.