A social experiment - tested and proved.
When trying to meet "decent" guys using bars and clubs the one thing that always makes it fail is that we miss out on the totally decent guys who don't have the guts to approach girls and instead get the guys who have the confidence to for all the wrong reasons. I know that there are alright guys that aproach girls but most of these guys who do approach girls also have the confidence to approach other girls and for me someone who has picked up a different girl every week isnt exactly boyfriend material and 9 times out of 10 they arent looking for a girlfriend anyway.
So my theory was to meet a decent guy the girls should have a go at doing the approaching. Why should we have these double standards? We fight for equality so now lets use it.
Standing at the bar with 2 of my girls all dressed up in one of the cities most notorious clubs (but one of the only ones) my friend steps forward to get a drink. She hasnt been out before, it was recently her 18th birthday (in australia its 18 not 21) and a guy steps infront of her completely unintentionally because my friend is nervous about ordering a drink and what to say she is not as close to the bar as she should of been. As this happens the guy standing next to me steps forward and taps him on the shoulder and explains that the girl next to him was trying to order and then gets my friends attention and urges her infron of him and steps back once again. Here I am thinking to myself "that was a really decent thing to do, lets test this theory" a casually swing my arm up and lightly tap him on the shoulder with the back of my hand and say "thanks"...he steps behind me without saying anything..."oh no...I meant thanks for helping my friend, I'm not waiting for a drink" and gesture him infront of me. This time he looks at me and explains he is also jsut waiting and points to the guy who originally cut my friend off and explains that thats his friend he is waiting on. Our conversation goes smoothly as I explain that its the first time both the girls I'm with have been in this club or any for that matter. Let me add that I am almost a year older than them so I am actually quite well known in this club as I go there alot.
Lets call these two lads W and A. W being the guy next to me and A is the one at the bar. A turns around with his drinks and comes over to W at which point I'm introduced. My friends turn and funnily enough find me talking to two guys and not alone as they left me and I introduce them. We had an AMAZING night, and what is sort of bad is that my two friends now have the impression that this is what going out is always like...no...that was one of the BEST nights I've ever had. Both these guys were totally decent.
W kept complimenting my dancing, and he was an AMAZING hip hop dancer...which is the way I like...hip hop. I didnt take much notice until later I found out that he is a hip hop dance teacher, so the compliments he was giving me on my dancing made me go "WOW" his friends and him kept asking me if I'd had professional lessons...how very flattering!
Wondering if it will go anywhere, he got my number and texted me that night "hope you got home safe" etc. We text each other but there are no immediate responses, maybe he's just playing it cool. He hassaid for us to meet up again when I'm not sick (I have tonsillitis atm). It will be interesting to see where it goes. He is the first guy I have just LOVED being around in a very long time, we quoted random movies for about an hour while my friends sat at us and looked very confused. There was definately chemistry, unlike the other 5 guys texting me right now who I am really just not that into. Why is it that the guys we want don't seem to want us and the guys we dont cling on for dear life. Amazing things happen when theres some sort of flaw in the universes plan to keep us apart and two people want each other.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
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Ive never spent much time in clubs because , as you said, girls rarely approach guys, So Id spend my time just looking at all of them trying muster up enough guts to say hi, meanwhile seeing all these gunho guys making moves. And again your right, in the past ive hung out or had such friends and they are there for trophies only. So too often I would grand shagging tales the next day and rarely was a second date involved.
ReplyDeleteThe shy guys arent always losers MsB. They may seem quiet and a bit scared to be in the clubs, but more often, those are the guys that if a girl needs help , or if theres trouble, they are the ones the will cover your back.
Also, take note, they dont get as drunk as the gungho types
I am trying to think which type was I?!! he he! :) and yup..get well soon!
ReplyDeleteThey certainly arent the losers, thats my point of approaching them because it opens up my chances of finding a decent male being on this planet, in a way we limit ourselves if we depend on the guys and by not depending on that we open ourselves up, its sort of inspiring really.
ReplyDeleteAnd honestly Gautam...where does the confusion come from? oh please do share your story, it may inspire a blog or 2.
You are absolutely right when you say most of the time men aren't exactly looking for girlfriends when they meet them at bars and clubs.Coming to my confusion; I wasn't the shy guy who would never approach a girl but I wasn't also like my friends who had to hit on girls every time we went out. And even though I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, I would more often than not approach a girl only when I somehow saw her as a girlfriend material (I wish I could describe it better rather than making it sound so materialistic!!!). So I really don't know which category I fell into back then!
ReplyDeleteA little anecdote from my life to wrap things up: It's about the the last time I approached a girl. A sweet looking cute thing she was, standing with her friend. We made some small talk before she said she had to leave for some urgent work. I had her friend for company so it didn't exactly bother me. But few minutes after she was gone, I did feel she was different than the others. I ran out and found her as she waited for a cab and took her number. As it turned out, she was the love of my life and we have been together for five years now! :)
That is very very interesting! How you said that you would only aproach her if she was girlfriend material depsite not really looking for a girlfriend. I wonder what percentage of guys do it this way, maybe subconsciously?
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