I had been dating someone for a few weeks and we decided to call it official, but it just didnt feel right, hence why I never spoke about it on here. It occurred to me that it wasn't right when a family friend said "Oh so its all new and exciting, yer" and I looked at her confused. She explained she meant how its exciting with all the "firsts". I thought to myself how I had totally forgotten about this aspect of a new relationship because ours wasnt like that. He was lovely and sweet and very much into me but he didn't give me butterflies or make me nervous and the real nail in the breakup coffin was when I realized I barely thought about him. When I did it would just be wondering what he was up to or when he would be home from work. I never fantasized about growing old together or getting married or having kids. As much as girls don't admit it, a large majority do do this, just to different extents.
So I broke it off, and now I'm single and going through the breakup motions. First I felt a sense of freedom, but once the in depth phone conversation ended and I retreated to my room to sleep, I just felt plain alone. Oh yer ... right... this is what sucks about being single...I almost forgot. I even had a shocking dream last night, woke up in an empty house as parents were already at work, I had no one to share it with. Reached for my phone, 7am. No one I know is awake that early that I would want to share it with, no one but him would understand.
My day is off to a great start as tears well up in my eyes.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I think its strange that while in the relationship that you didnt feel any of the happy clicks of companionship, yet once it ended you felt the pain.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could say something helpful, but ive been alone so long that I feel a comfort in being so.
It took awhile for me to learn an understand what 40kg is, but I have finally, From what I understand, if your like 5 feet tall, then that could be really thin. Some guys find that very attractive. I dont recall you saying that youve been sick this year, so your health seems fine. Fat people get colds often. I think a plus of being underweight is that its much easier to gain muscle.
Anyways, Stay strong, and in time a better man will come along.